Vampires Suck!

Ok, why do a lot of people hate the movie? My fiancee and I rolfed so hard when we saw the movie. Critiques are saying it's trash and a waste of time, Twilighters are offended by it, and some people said they tried too hard. Honestly, I thought it was great. Twilight was destined to be made fun of in the worst ways the second it was released, why don't they just get over it. Even Stephen King said Twilight was trash and Stephanie Meyer can't write to save her life. I'm serious about that too, google it. The 1337 God of Horror basically gave the mormon author the middle finger.

Anyways, back to Vampires sucking more than flamboyant homo. The opening scene has tween Twilighters going at it over who's better, a constipated vampire named Edward or a jealous werewolf who is possibly in the closet named Jacob. What's to love? Seeing a bunch of stupid girls, who can't understand the difference between fantasy and reality, trying to kill each other is great! I say, a few less morons in the world. Then it goes on to Becca.... *cough cough*Bella*cough cough*...going on about how emo she is while listening to music to fit how much she is an emo. Then you see vampire stuff everywhere because for some bizarre reason, lately, everyone has gotten into a fad known as the "Vampire Fetish." First of all, from what I've learned from Anne Rice, vampires are selfish and have huge egos. But at least Anne Rice's stories are classic and amazing. Plus her vampires don't sparkle and weren't intended for screaming, hormone raging, tween girls who worship hottopic. Anyway, stuff happens that basically is the equivalent of what I said and then Edward dies by the hands of Team Jacob.

I know I skipped a lot, but I liked the movie. It basically was meant for those few of us who wish that Stephanie Meyer never wrote that stupid book and went back to what she's good at doing, going door to door, trying to convert people to become mormons.

And yes, I do admit to liking the series for like a few months. And then I saw the movie and heard the fangirls from a mile away and then I lost interest. However, I never finished reading the series and I'm one of those people who prefer to finish what they started. Also, since I am a writer myself, I might as well keep the books as a reference on how not to suck.